So, in one of my previous posts, I detailed the weekend before Ben’s birthday. We went to the coast, ate fancy, and basically were #goals. His actual birthday fell on the following Tuesday, and I still wanted to do something special for the actual day. I got cards from the kids and myself AND I ordered a cookie cake for him. Ben really loves cookie cake. It’s his request every year, and I usually get it from a particularly awesome bakery in town. That bakery is kind of out of the way though, and this super awesome grocery store, only a half mile from my house was just remodeled and has a bakery. So I call, and I order a cake. Here’s where I went wrong. I had decided that didn’t want the small 8″ round cake, so I decided I would get a sheet cake. My mom always makes sheet cakes when we have a crowd and they are pretty huge. So I knew I would want half that amount since it was just Ben, Darcy, and I. Being a reasonable person and all, I ordered a 1/2 sheet cake. It was like twenty-ish dollars and I thought that was a little high, but whatever. I told them to put a lot of icing on it because Ben loves that.
I go to pick up the cake.
Me:”Hey, I’m here to pick up a cake for ‘Rayner’.”
*sets massive box on counter*
Me:”Oh, no, you see I ordered a little cookie cake.”
Bakery:”Here it is!”
Oh shit. I ordered enough for an army. You see, what my mom refers to as a “sheet cake” is actually 1/4 sheet cake. I wanted 1/8 sheet cake. But because I am an idiot, I ORDERED DOUBLE WHAT MY MOM MAKES FOR OUR TWENTY-PERSON FAMILY. Lord, help me from myself. It was beautifully done, and honestly at $20ish dollars, it was a damn steal. Anddd I learned my lesson. We had cookie cake for days, so it could have been worse. But, I’m really thankful I didn’t order a whole sheet cake.
In honor of that act of stupidity, I’m going to post a few questions I have for the greater world. Some are legitimate questions while others make fun of people who have crappier judgement than even me. I can’t help myself y’all. Feel free to help me out here, people.
- Why are workout classes/gym memberships so dang expensive? Is it necessary to pay $1 a minute for a class? I’ll just wear ratty tennis shoes and run around my neighborhood, thank you.
- Are lunchtime margaritas a thing? Or does ordering one make you look like an alcoholic? I’m asking because I’m going to eat Mexican in the next hour and this is a priority right now.
- How often is it acceptable to check up on favors? You know, when someone offers to do something to help you out, but you don’t hear back from them? You don’t want to be all, “Hey girl, remember that time a week ago you said you would help me?” but you feel kinda like, “Look here lady, you said you would help me. I’m gonna need you to do that.” When and how do you check up on that?
- Why do they have tube tops and crop tops for toddlers? It just seems so weird to me. I’m just really confused on this topic.
- Do people really make that much money with MLM? From the way people post, they’re making a lot of money. Is this real life, or are they lying? This is an earnest question y’all because I want to buy all the things.
- At what point do you quit trying with people? Like you’ve tried to foster a relationship with them, and they are just not very responsive. I’m not talking about random people, but people you’re “supposed” to be close with. When do you give up? Or are you just supposed to keep at it forever?
- Is there anybody that actually watches movies on Netflix? Like doesn’t play on their phone the whole time, agrees with partner/friend on which movie to watch, actually enjoys the movie?? If so, throw suggestions my way.
- How much spit up requires an outfit change?
- How often does a child really need to bathe? Especially when he or she screams like a banshee the entire time? Please don’t say daily.
- In light of the whole “Me too” and feminist movement (rise up, ladies!), are we still shaving our legs? Because that’s the important question here. I won’t if you don’t!
So, here are my stupid questions along with a little pearl of advice–don’t order a 1/2 sheet cake if there aren’t at least 20 people present. Unless you like cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a minimum of a week. I actually did enjoy that part, so maybe I’ll ignore my own advice on that…
2 thoughts on “Help me, I’m stupid.”
That’s a whole lotta cake.
Of course, to my mind, there’s no such thing as too much cake… so bravo.
#2. Margaritas for lunch are definitely a thing. Sometimes they’re mandatory…. and occasionally? They serve as lunch itself. Or so I’ve heard. I wouldn’t have any experience on that topic. No, none at all.
#3. I’ve found most offers of help are throw aways. “Oh sure, if you need anything give me a call.” Then they change their phone numbers. Jump on that offer when it’s made and set a date. “Thanks! I’ll see you Tuesday afternoon at 3:00” Pin that sh*t down.
#10. I’d like to stand in solidarity with my sisters… but no. I can’t walk around with gorilla legs hairier than my husband’s. Sorry.
Haha! Love it! Yes yes and yes! Thanks for reading!
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